No More Bruntlett!

Props go to Corey from We Should Be GM’s for coming up with this idea before we did – petitioning to have Bruntlett released.

“As fans, we deserve to know if the team plans on signing Bruntlett again so that we have as many winter days as possible to find a new team to cheer for.”

Go here to sign the petition. Here’s the open letter Corey wrote to Ruben Amaro, Jr., encouraging the release of Bruntlett. Since we are Bruntlett’s official hate club, I thought it was imperative to share this with you:

“Mr. Amaro,

As passionate and sincere fans of our beloved baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies, we feel it is our obligation to convey to you our position on a very important issue: NOT signing Eric Bruntlett.

Eric Bruntlett hit .171 this past season, which is amazingly high given his level of skill and performance for most of the season. The fact that he actually got eighteen hits is almost as amazing as you paying him $800,000 to do so. For reference, that is over $44,000 per hit. Government stimulus money is spent more efficiently than that.

Do not be fooled by the peripherals on Eric Bruntlett’s resume. Scoring the winning run in a World Series, turning an unassisted triple play and having the best beard on the team are not sufficient qualifications to earn a place on the defending National League champions.

Please do not repeat your mistake in 2009. Do not sign Eric Bruntlett.

Thank you and Best Wishes,

Fans of the Fightins”

Preaching to a choir…

We also have a new “No More Bruntlett” badge to the right. Stay tuned for more updates on Bruntlett’s status. When, not if, he gets fired, we will have the news!

Mission Accomplished

The wise and mighty Charlie Manuel has made the decision to put Miguel Cairo on the postseason roster and leave Eric Bruntlett at home to cry in his beard.  Now we know that Old Beardo’s not a bad guy and had some luck in the last postseason, but this was absolutely the right call by Charlie.  It’s been a long season full of a couple ups and a ton of downs for Eric Bruntlett.  His season highlights include the first game of the season, in which he went 1 for 1 and after which he was batting 1.000 and the famous unassisted triple play, which almost destroyed this blog.  Of course Bruntlett set himself up for that triple play…but every dog has its day and we’ll certainly let this one savor that day, especially because it was against the Mets.  Bruntlett might have some other season highlights that I can in no way recall, but you can view them here if you’re interested.

Now onto the bad.  Let’s look at Bruntlett’s final numbers:

World’s Finest

One of the biggest surprises in last year’s World Series was the importance of Eric Bruntlett. He hit .333 in the World Series, going 2 for 6 at the plate, scored 3 runs, scored the winning runs in games 3 and 5, and even hit a homer in game 2! He was abysmal at the plate in the regular season and really in the playoffs in general before that, but something changed in the World Series and he was actually an okay player!  Kind of!  But does he deserve a chance to repeat this feat as a member of the Phillies postseason roster?

As I’ve stated time and time again Beardo is a worthless regular season pinch hitter and an adequate at best fielder. But at the same time, you can’t deny this simple fact: The only Philadelphia team to win a championship since 1983 had Eric Bruntlett on the roster. Somehow Bruntlett positively contributed to it.

Is Bruntlett a clutch playoff performer? I doubt it. Is he magic? Possibly, he certainly looks like a dwarf with that beard of his.  Are we relying on a magic beard to deliver us another World Series title?  I can’t trust that.

The good news is that we’re not going to see much of Bruntlett in the postseason. His outfield role has been severely limited due to the acquisition of Ben Francisco.  Unless something horrible happens we won’t be seeing him in the infield.  How much can it hurt to have him on the postseason roster?  Well do you want to see Bruntlett starting if that something horrible does happen in the form of Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley going down?  I don’t think so.

The only other option is Miguel Cairo, who I would certainly feel more comfortable with.  Sure he spent most of the year in the minors, but that’s because he doesn’t do Charlie Manuel’s laundry like the Bearded Wonder does!  Hell, I’d feel more comfortable with the pig from Green Acres playing there instead of Eric Bruntlett, so Cairo’s an upgrade over that.  But can Cairo capture the magic contained in Bruntlett?  Can he replicate that stumbling run to home plate from World Series Game 3?

Solution: Put a fake beard on Miguel Cairo.  Can’t go wrong.

The Fire Eric Bruntlett Fantasy Football League

You may remember a couple weeks ago, when I announced my new position for Digital Sports Daily as their Fantasy Sports Editor. Well, I decided to let all of you readers try to prove yourselves against me. Can you beat the “Fantasy Expert” at fantasy football? The audition process to get into the league is very simple. All you have to do is e-mail us at fireericbruntlett [at] gmail [dot] com with your best fantasy football team name involving the Phillies. (Hint, hint: We really like team names that make fun of Beardo.) Also, my team name will be Beardo’s Weirdos. So, don’t try any of that stuff on us.

Good luck!

Beardcap 8-25-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett pinch hit for starting pitcher Joe Blanton in the 7th inning. He went 1 for 1 with a double raising his average to .167 (right on your doorstep Bako, watch out!). Another solid showing from Beardo somehow.

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils lost to the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates 6-4. The loss can in no way be pinned to the bearded one, but one can try. Certainly one could blame Bruntlett for ONLY hitting a double and not a home run. Come on Beardo, you know we need to give Brad Lidge a 3-4 run lead to save the game! Get in the game!

Bruntlett Fact

Eric Bruntlett has actually been confirmed to be a baby Big Foot.

Beardcap 8-24-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett went 1 for 4 with a single starting at shortstop for Jimmy Rollins, raising his average to .158, the highest it’s been since June 20th (Ain’t no stoppin’ Brunt now! He’s on the move!).  He was replaced by Rollins in the 9th inning.

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils beat the hated Mets 6-2.  For once Bruntlett had almost no affect on the game.  One would imagine if more balls had been hit to shortstop more errors would have been commited, but eh, who’s got the time to argue such things?

Bruntlett Fact (s)

Eric Bruntlett’s beard generates enough heat to warm a small igloo.

Beardo has almost caught up to Paul Bako, who has an average of .169

Bruntlett has not had an RBI since July 6th.

Beardcap 8-23-09

What did Beardo do?

Eric Bruntlett had what might have been his best game as a Phillie.  Starting for Chase Utley he went 3-5 at the plate, raising his average to an astounding .154!  He also had one of the top defensive plays of the year, ending the game on an unassisted triple play!  Whaaaaaaa!?

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phillies beat their hated rival, the New York Mets, 9-7.  Bruntlett actively contributed to this win, spectacularly ending the game on an unassisted triple play.  He did commit one error however!  Regardless, actual kudos are deserved for Beardo here, he played a hell of a game.  In the words of Ron Burgandy, “I’m not even mad, I’m impressed!”

Bruntlett Fact (s)

This was Bruntlett’s first multi-hit game since June 5th.

Bruntlett has not had an RBI since July 6th.

So that just happened….

39,038 can lay claim that they witnessed the greatest game in Eric Bruntlett’s career. He had 3 hits and the first game ended unnassisted triple play since the 1920’s. So the question is to be asked, is this the turning point for Eric Bruntlett?

As a Die-hard Phillies fan for the last 20 years, I’m gonna have to say no. Some of my followers on twitter and our facebook fans know that I stated that “even Adam Eaton pitched well once and awhile.”  Now, he earned his World Series ring fair and square and he made some great plays today, but after his three singles, he popped out to the infield and had a liner to center snagged for the out.

Before the game today, the Phillies placed Greg Dobbs on the DL and called up Eric Bruntlett’s eventual replacement Miguel Cairo. Cairo is a career .265 hitter with 318 career RBIs. Ciaro’s best offensive year was 2004 when he was with the New York Yankees. He batted .292 with a .703 OPS. He hit 6 HRs and 42 RBIs. In 1998 he had 28 steals with the Tampa Bay Rays. Last season he was in Seattle with Ibanez. So while he’s a traveled veteran, he has gotten the job done before.

We here at FireEricBruntlett aren’t dening the fact that Eric Bruntlett had a great offensive game today. But if we remember the only reason those two men were on base for that triple play is because Bruntlett had an error and should have had another one. So even in the best game of his career, Bruntlett let his true colors shine through. I’m glad the Phillies got the win and I’ll take it by any means necessary. Let’s just not let this one go to our heads.

As of right now, Eric Bruntlett is scheduled to start in place of SS Jimmy Rollins tomorrow. So we will see if his new found ability to hit can carry into the next day.

Beardcap 8-18-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett stood on deck to pinch hit for starter Pedro Martinez after the rain delay ended in the bottom of the 3rd inning, but had to sit down disappointed when Pedro Feliz was tagged out at home plate on Carlos Ruiz’s RBI single.  In short, Beardo took some practice swings, sighed, and sat back down.

Did the Phils lose?  Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 5-1!  They kept the lead due to an incredible relief performance by Jamie Moyer (6 innings pitched, 2 hits, 0 earned runs).  Moyer would also go 2 for 3 at the plate, bringing his average to .152 for the year.  If the .129 hitting Bruntlett had pinch hit, it would have thrown Jamie Moyer off and the Phils would have lost by 10 runs.  Guaranteed*! (thanks to @allthingsphilly for the BA tip on Twitter)

Bruntlett Fact:

Pedro Feliz intentionally ran home knowing he would get tagged out just so Bruntlett wouldn’t get to bat.  Pete Happy made a noble sacrifice for the greater good.

*Guarantee is no way legally binding as Estebomb is a raging psychopath.

Beardcap 8-12-09

What Did Beardo Do:

To lead off the top of the 8th inning, he lined out to second, because in the home half of the 7th, he cam in as a “defensive” substitution. He also showed his defensive prowess in the 9th inning, when he misplayed a ball and let it skip away from him, eventually allowing two runs to score. Take a look at the screen grabs below.

Had the ball been played correctly, it could potentially been a game-ending double play, or at worst, the second out, and likely, the final would have been 12-3. But that’s what you get with Beardo!

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

This is actually our first Beardcap in which the Phils won, which is weird, because it seems like Bruntlett uses each appearance to ruin the game for the Fightins. In any case, had the Phils lost, but Weirdo Beardo still lined out and committed the error, there’s no doubt in my mind the loss could’ve blamed entirely on him.

Bruntlett Fact:

The only reason Charlie used Brunt in the first place was because he felt bad for his friend, Cubs manager Lou Piniella, that the Phils were beating up his pitching staff so badly. (You can totally see them going out for beers and yelling at umps together, right?) So, Cholly put Bruntlett in to help Chicago’s pitching get an easy out and score a couple runs back to give the offense a confidence boost.