Fire Eric Bruntlett

There's only one Bruntober

Beardcap 8-18-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett stood on deck to pinch hit for starter Pedro Martinez after the rain delay ended in the bottom of the 3rd inning, but had to sit down disappointed when Pedro Feliz was tagged out at home plate on Carlos Ruiz’s RBI single.  In short, Beardo took some practice swings, sighed, and sat back down.

Did the Phils lose?  Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 5-1!  They kept the lead due to an incredible relief performance by Jamie Moyer (6 innings pitched, 2 hits, 0 earned runs).  Moyer would also go 2 for 3 at the plate, bringing his average to .152 for the year.  If the .129 hitting Bruntlett had pinch hit, it would have thrown Jamie Moyer off and the Phils would have lost by 10 runs.  Guaranteed*! (thanks to @allthingsphilly for the BA tip on Twitter)

Bruntlett Fact:

Pedro Feliz intentionally ran home knowing he would get tagged out just so Bruntlett wouldn’t get to bat.  Pete Happy made a noble sacrifice for the greater good.

*Guarantee is no way legally binding as Estebomb is a raging psychopath.

August 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This is Why We Hate You

This is for me to explain the site. Steve already explained himself. I also don’t have a problem with Bruntlett personally.

He’s probably nice to his mother. I’m sure he doesn’t hit his wife. I could probably guarantee that he’s good with his kids.

But none of that matters now. Because when the guys go out there, we don’t really care about his personal life. We only care about one thing from our athletes, no matter what sport: that they go out there and produce to get us to the playoffs, and maybe even win us a championship.

Bruntlett has done one of those two things for us: he has helped us win the World Series. You may remember when, in the World Series, he homered in Game 2, and scored the game-winning runs in Games 3 and 5. Or you may not. Like me, you may blocked all good things Beardo has done from your memory. I needed Wikipedia to remind of the few good things he’s done as a Phillie.

Look for some fun stuff here at Fire Eric Bruntlett, as we get deeper in. For example, “Eric Bruntlett Facts.” They’re like the Chuck Norris or Cole Hamels Facts, except the exact opposite. An example of an Eric Bruntlett Fact might be, “Eric Bruntlett is so bad, he can’t hit or slug his weight.” Also, we may do, “Players We Hate Slightly Less Than Eric Bruntlett.” If Eric Bruntlett is the epitome of hated in Philadelphia, who else in baseball history have we almost felt the same way about? These players will be separated into three categories: “Other Phillies,” “Mets,” and “Everyone Else.”

The only reason I can possibly come up with as to why the Phils keep Beardo around is because they’re paying him $800,000 this season. No, wait. That would be a good excuse if we were the Marlins. I honestly have no idea whatsoever.

And remember Bruntlett, this is nothing personal. We’re pretty sure that you’re a good guy. You’re just an awful baseball player.

August 2, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 2 Comments