Fire Eric Bruntlett

There's only one Bruntober

Phillies and Beardo Link Dump

It’s not often that Eric Bruntlett comes up in the news. He’s in contention for worst player in Major League Baseball, so unless he actually plays, there’s not much of a reason for him to be brought up. That is, unless you’re trying to insult him. Take this quote from Phillies beat writer and Inquirer columnist Andy Martino: “One advantage of acquiring Francisco is the team no longer needs to rely on Eric Bruntlett as a primary righthanded pinch-hitter.” Thank God we don’t! Another game with Beardo as our primary right-handed bat off the bench, and I think we’d all shoot ourselves! But Andy’s point would’ve been perfectly clear had he stopped there, but no. He went on. “Despite his unimpressive offensive numbers, Bruntlett is a rare and valuable commodity on defense because he can play every position and is the only backup shortstop on the roster. Now that the Phils have Francisco, they do not have to worry as much about asking Bruntlett to perform in a role unsuited to his skill set.” Let me quote David Foley from Phinally Philly: “First of all, “unimpressive” does not even begin to describe how God-awful he’s been at the plate this season. I’m fairly certain YOU could hit .133 with a .202 OBP… Eric Bruntlett’s VORP is -9.6, the worst out of the entire Phillies roster (including THE PITCHERS!) Hell, even Paul Bako hurts the Phils (-4.4) at the plate less than Bruntlett!” David went much more in depth as to how awful Bruntlett has been, with fancy sabermetrics and whatschmacallits, but that’s the gist of it. [Phinally Philly]

The 5th Starter Conundrum is an interesting one here in Philly, one that we hope to get more into tomorrow, in our attempt to actually talk about the Phillies, instead of just how much we hate Eric Bruntlett every post. Balls, Sticks, and Stuff explains why Moyer can not, and will not, go to the bullpen. And I would have to agree, but I’ll try to get more into it tomorrow. [Balls, Sticks, & Stuff]

Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins are no longer just stars on the baseball diamond. Now, they are also stars in a Funny or Die “Baseball Fantasy Camp” video. [The Fightins]

File this one under “We need to talk about this more tomorrow,” too. I’m sure you heard about the tragedy that was the 22-year-old man beaten to death outside of McFadden’s, the bar at Citizens Bank Park. I’m also sure that you have heard some irresponsible journalists how this only hurts the reputation of us Philadelphia sports fans. And I’m sure that you were disgusted by those pieces of “journalism,” if you can even call it that. Enrico from The700Level did a great job of taking to task the author of one of the most infuriating such posts for what he wrote. And he’s not even a real journalist. He’s a tour guide “who has written 15 works of fiction.” Well, he can add another with that piece. The kicker? And this is a quote straight from the article: “I have never set foot in the Wachovia Center. I have never set foot in Lincoln Financial Field, and I have never set foot in Citizens Park [sic].” Yes. He wrote that entire piece for a highly respected newspaper based on what other people told him. Deadspin also did a good job of keeping blame off Philadelphia, in particular, saying that it was the type of thing that could’ve happened anywhere, and, in fact, already has. [The 700 Level]

Two more quick things to try to wrap this up: Big thanks to everyone who came to our live blog for the Phils game on Thursday afternoon. Those in attendance included your 3 fearless leaders, myself, Steve, and Tommy, as well as Kevin from Macho Row, Mike from Mike on the Phils, and Phillies-blog commenter and new Tweeter Swift. We plan to do another live blog for next week’s afternoon game in Chicago.

Last, but most certainly not least, Bill Baer from Crashburn Alley interviewed each of us about Bruntlett. The answers were a lot of fun to come up with, they were a lot of fun to read after, and I’m sure they’ll be a lot of fun for you to read, too. If you were to click one link in this entire post, I’d suggest it be that one. Definitely make sure you read it.

Have anything to say about any of the links? Don’t be afraid to leave it in the comments!

August 7, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Big Bushy Beard

Let’s just get this out the way.  I don’t have any problem with Eric Bruntlett personally.

He seems like a nice guy and a hard worker.  Why would we pick on a good person like this?

Eric Bruntlett is apparently a professional baseball player.  He’s certainly paid like it.  I’m sure he’s living his dream, and I’d love for him to continue getting paid to do what he loves.

But not in the major leagues.  And most certainly not for the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies.

Bruntlett AT BEST belongs on the Nationals bench.  Bruntlett is so bad that you can hear the entire crowd sigh at once when he comes into the game as loud as any “RAUUUUUUL” you’ll hear.  Bruntlett is so bad that even Tom McCarthy thinks the game’s over when he pinch hits, and T-Mac loves everyone!

“But he scored the winning run in the world series!” you might argue.  You’re certainly right, but let’s remember he only did that because he’s faster than Pat Burrell, which is a dubious honor at best, and not exactly something that someone wants to hang hit hat on.

The man hits below .200 and is a mediocre defensive player.  Sure he can play every position, but he can’t play any of them well!  What’s the one positive thing most people say about Bruntlett?  It’s that he’s got a hell of a beard.  Can his beard hit and catch? (we’re actually still looking into that, it seems entirely feasible)

I would love to see the blackmail that Bruntlett has on the Phillies’ front office, because I can’t think of any reason to have him on your major league baseball team.  We will not rest until Eric Bruntlett is off of the Philadelphia Phillies, be it a demotion to the minors, trade, or outright release.  The world champions deserve at least an adequate utility infielder.

It’s nothing personal Eric, just business.

July 31, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | 3 Comments