Weekend at Beardo’s

I had good fortune to get to attend two of the last 4 regular season Phillies games.  I did not however have the good fortune to see a game that mattered and thus had to suffer through not one, but TWO starts by Eric Bruntlett.

Beardo's in the cards for the day!

I of course was horrified to find this out considering I hate Beardo almost as much as I hate reality television. (Steve’s hate: Beardo < Reality TV < New York Mets)  The only bright side of this would be that I’d more or less get to do a live Beardcap (and I am fully aware I have not done a Beardcap in a while).  These starts were actually very important for Bruntlett as the Phillies are still in the process of choosing their postseason roster.

Beardcap 8-25-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett pinch hit for starting pitcher Joe Blanton in the 7th inning. He went 1 for 1 with a double raising his average to .167 (right on your doorstep Bako, watch out!). Another solid showing from Beardo somehow.

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils lost to the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates 6-4. The loss can in no way be pinned to the bearded one, but one can try. Certainly one could blame Bruntlett for ONLY hitting a double and not a home run. Come on Beardo, you know we need to give Brad Lidge a 3-4 run lead to save the game! Get in the game!

Bruntlett Fact

Eric Bruntlett has actually been confirmed to be a baby Big Foot.

Beardcap 8-24-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett went 1 for 4 with a single starting at shortstop for Jimmy Rollins, raising his average to .158, the highest it’s been since June 20th (Ain’t no stoppin’ Brunt now! He’s on the move!).  He was replaced by Rollins in the 9th inning.

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils beat the hated Mets 6-2.  For once Bruntlett had almost no affect on the game.  One would imagine if more balls had been hit to shortstop more errors would have been commited, but eh, who’s got the time to argue such things?

Bruntlett Fact (s)

Eric Bruntlett’s beard generates enough heat to warm a small igloo.

Beardo has almost caught up to Paul Bako, who has an average of .169

Bruntlett has not had an RBI since July 6th.

Beardcap 8-18-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett stood on deck to pinch hit for starter Pedro Martinez after the rain delay ended in the bottom of the 3rd inning, but had to sit down disappointed when Pedro Feliz was tagged out at home plate on Carlos Ruiz’s RBI single.  In short, Beardo took some practice swings, sighed, and sat back down.

Did the Phils lose?  Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils beat the Arizona Diamondbacks 5-1!  They kept the lead due to an incredible relief performance by Jamie Moyer (6 innings pitched, 2 hits, 0 earned runs).  Moyer would also go 2 for 3 at the plate, bringing his average to .152 for the year.  If the .129 hitting Bruntlett had pinch hit, it would have thrown Jamie Moyer off and the Phils would have lost by 10 runs.  Guaranteed*! (thanks to @allthingsphilly for the BA tip on Twitter)

Bruntlett Fact:

Pedro Feliz intentionally ran home knowing he would get tagged out just so Bruntlett wouldn’t get to bat.  Pete Happy made a noble sacrifice for the greater good.

*Guarantee is no way legally binding as Estebomb is a raging psychopath.

Beardcap 8-12-09

What Did Beardo Do:

To lead off the top of the 8th inning, he lined out to second, because in the home half of the 7th, he cam in as a “defensive” substitution. He also showed his defensive prowess in the 9th inning, when he misplayed a ball and let it skip away from him, eventually allowing two runs to score. Take a look at the screen grabs below.

Had the ball been played correctly, it could potentially been a game-ending double play, or at worst, the second out, and likely, the final would have been 12-3. But that’s what you get with Beardo!

Did the Phils lose? Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

This is actually our first Beardcap in which the Phils won, which is weird, because it seems like Bruntlett uses each appearance to ruin the game for the Fightins. In any case, had the Phils lost, but Weirdo Beardo still lined out and committed the error, there’s no doubt in my mind the loss could’ve blamed entirely on him.

Bruntlett Fact:

The only reason Charlie used Brunt in the first place was because he felt bad for his friend, Cubs manager Lou Piniella, that the Phils were beating up his pitching staff so badly. (You can totally see them going out for beers and yelling at umps together, right?) So, Cholly put Bruntlett in to help Chicago’s pitching get an easy out and score a couple runs back to give the offense a confidence boost.

Beardcap 8-9-09

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett pinch hit for relief pitcher Kyle Kendrick in the 7th inning.  He popped out and went 0-1 at the plate bringing his season average down to .131.

Did the Phils lose?  Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

The Phils lost 12-3.  Clearly Bruntlett’s one at-bat is to blame for this.  This moves the Phillies to 30-27 in games that Bruntlett has played in this season.

Bruntlett Fact:

Bruntlett’s mother does not actually keep pictures of him around the house; she instead keeps pictures of Chase Utley because “he’s just so awesome”.

Beardcap 8-2-09

Beardcap will be a regular feature that we will provide you with here at “Fire Eric Bruntlett” after the aforementioned Mr. Bruntlett somehow finds his way into actual playing time.  Somehow Beardo found his way into starting in left field as Charlie Manuel decided to rest Raul Ibanez today.

What did Beardo do?

Bruntlett actually went 1 for 2 with a double!  That was his 11th hit of the season and raised his average for the season to a terrific .133!  Viva la Beardo!

Did the Phils lose?  Was it Bruntlett’s fault?

Alas, the Phils did lose to the San Francisco Giants 7-3.  Although on the surface there’s not any way to blame Bruntlett, in my head Ibanez would have hit 3 homers had he started, so clearly that’s why we lost the game and in no way because the offense has been coming up empty when it counts most this week and Cole Hamels let up 6 earned runs.  Damn you Bruntlett!

Bruntlett Fact:

The Phillies were not aware that they had traded for Eric Bruntlett, he just showed up with Brad Lidge and his Rudy like persistence and ability to do odd jobs earned him a spot on the team.