Fire Eric Bruntlett

There's only one Bruntober

A Big Bushy Beard

Let’s just get this out the way.  I don’t have any problem with Eric Bruntlett personally.

He seems like a nice guy and a hard worker.  Why would we pick on a good person like this?

Eric Bruntlett is apparently a professional baseball player.  He’s certainly paid like it.  I’m sure he’s living his dream, and I’d love for him to continue getting paid to do what he loves.

But not in the major leagues.  And most certainly not for the World Champion Philadelphia Phillies.

Bruntlett AT BEST belongs on the Nationals bench.  Bruntlett is so bad that you can hear the entire crowd sigh at once when he comes into the game as loud as any “RAUUUUUUL” you’ll hear.  Bruntlett is so bad that even Tom McCarthy thinks the game’s over when he pinch hits, and T-Mac loves everyone!

“But he scored the winning run in the world series!” you might argue.  You’re certainly right, but let’s remember he only did that because he’s faster than Pat Burrell, which is a dubious honor at best, and not exactly something that someone wants to hang hit hat on.

The man hits below .200 and is a mediocre defensive player.  Sure he can play every position, but he can’t play any of them well!  What’s the one positive thing most people say about Bruntlett?  It’s that he’s got a hell of a beard.  Can his beard hit and catch? (we’re actually still looking into that, it seems entirely feasible)

I would love to see the blackmail that Bruntlett has on the Phillies’ front office, because I can’t think of any reason to have him on your major league baseball team.  We will not rest until Eric Bruntlett is off of the Philadelphia Phillies, be it a demotion to the minors, trade, or outright release.  The world champions deserve at least an adequate utility infielder.

It’s nothing personal Eric, just business.


July 31, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | 3 Comments