My turn to explain…

Dear Eric Bruntlett:

What’s it like to be you? While your sitting on the bench, do you really hope that maybe you’ll get into the game? I got a hand it to ya, the other night you hit a nice double. But honestly, you make 800,000 dollars a year. When you get home after a game in which you pinch hit and strike out, do you feel deserving?

To put this in perspective, if you worked at McDonald’s, someone would order a chicken salad and you would give them napkins and a cup. Maybe one lucky day you might give them some croutons, but they will never get the full salad. I mean, I don’t know how they let you put the uniform on. You are batting .133. How are you only batting .133? You strike out twice as many times as you get a hit. That’s worse than Ryan Howard.

I mean, I never thought I’d say this, but knowing you’re on the team makes me miss Ricky Ledee. Remember him? Maybe other Phillies fans do. He hit .238 while he was on the team. He had 121 hits in 2003 with the Phillies, you haven’t had many hits the whole time you’ve been here.

Everytime McCarthy and Sarge/Wheels start talking about a pitcher been pinch hit for I fear that you are gonna get into the game. Seeing you last season in the playoffs was fun. Your beard was epic in October. But it can no longer cover your bad baseball ability.

As the others said, I really have no problem with you as a person, but as a baseball player, you suck. So I hope everytime you get home at night and look at yourself in the mirror and comb your beard you realize that you are robbing the Phillies of $800,000. Sleep well Eric.

Sincerely,
Tommy