Fire Eric Bruntlett

There's only one Bruntober

Stay Classy, New York Media

ihatenewyork2What do you do when you’re a New York City tabloid newspaper, and your beloved Yankees are playing in the World Series come tomorrow against a team from a city that everyone loves to hate? Naturally, you get your crack advertisement department on front102709the oh-so-important mission of photo-shopping a skirt onto the said team’s All-Star center-fielder! (By the way, “crack” here does not mean that they’re great. At anything. Or even remotely good. It means that I genuinely think that everyone at the New York Post who wrote, edited, or published this article must be on crack to let this get by and into their newspaper and website.) They could have at least tried to be original! I mean, the guy’s Hawaiian! Everyone knows that! His nickname is The Flyin’ Hawaiian! They couldn’t even go for a grass skirt? Plus, “The Frillies!” Are grass skirts not frilly?

Oh, if only they could stop there… But some Yankee reporter just had to ask Vic to pose with the cover: “”Shane, could you ..?” “No, I’m not holding that up, bro,” he responded, no questions asked.

38922997

"It's only a positive thing to have them focus on you. There's obviously a reason why they put me on the front," Victorino said, referring to the cover of the New York Post.

From Todd Zolecki’s Zo Zone piece:

“Pretty cute,” Chase Utley said. “Shane looks pretty good. I would say Ryan (Howard) might look a little bit better in that skirt than Shane.”

And then there was the article written for the cover. Oh, the article. Such trash. The Post needed 3 people to write this awful headline and by-line: “Frillies are coming to town! Their fans are second-rate & so is their city.” They needed three people to extract quotes like these, this one presumably from a hot-dog stand worker: “‘The Yankees are going to make Philly cream cheese out of them,’ a confident Tommy Bayiokos, 44, predicted yesterday in Midtown.” I particularly enjoyed The Sports Hernia‘s response to Tommy:

“Tommy, if it said you were 16 years old, this might make sense. You’re 44, please do us all a favor and violently tase yourself.”

Other choice quotes from despicable journalists Rich Calder, Erin Calabrese and Jeremy Olshan, with my response following:

1.) “Gotham has been regularly beating the pants off Philly since overtaking the one-horse town as the nation’s economic capital in the early 19th century.”

2.) “Even Benjamin Franklin, Philly’s patron saint, has been described as “the father of all the Yankees.”

3.) “Although Philadelphia doesn’t draw the same ire among New Yorkers as Boston or Los Angeles, it’s mostly because Gothamites consider the city across the Ben Franklin Bridge pretty pathetic, says Bleacher Creature Michael Stewart.”

4.) “‘I don’t have hate for Philly exactly — they are like our redheaded stepchild,” he said. ‘It’s like a nothing city. It’s just insignificant in comparison to New York.'”

5.) “‘The big meal there is a steak with cheese and onions on a hero, but they don’t even call it a hero. It’s a hoagie. What the hell is a hoagie?’ said Ron Montclane, 26.”

6.) “As far as sports go, sure, the Phillies have won two World Series championships compared with the Yankees’ 26, but far sadder is that no one from Philly cares much. ‘Their most famous athlete is Rocky, and he’s fictional,’ sneered Alex Rusu, 23, a building superintendent in Gramercy.”

1.) Isn’t it ironic… that we won the season series 2-1? (Unlike anything Alanis Morissette ever sang, that actually is ironic, which, in a way, is kind of ironic in and of itself.) Also, the 19th century was the 1800s. The Yankees didn’t pkay their first game until 1901. Great fact-checking. So, that’s an advertising department and a research department both on crack?

2.) I’d like proof of this, since, you know, HE DIED ALMOST A CENTURY BEFORE THE FIRST BASEBALL GAME WAS EVER PLAYED!!!

3.) I thought they literally just said how much they love Ben Franklin. So, they love the guy, but hate the bridge?

4.) I have two reasons why Philadelphia is a better city than New York. For the first one let me quote Homer Simpson: “New York is a hellhole. And you know how I feel about hellholes.” Wow, I can’t believe I just agreed with Homer Simpson. Secondly, living in Philly, you wouldn’t have to run into any of these morons – the ones working for the paper, or quoted by the paper.

5.) HOAGIE. CHEESESTEAK. SUB SANDWICH. IDIOT = YOU.

6.) Wow… stupidest statement of the article. We don’t care? We filled our stadium to 102.2% capacity every game! Yankees couldn’t even get 90%!  Also, did they talk to anyone with an actual job?

Updates coming in the morning. Wow, that was longer than I expected it to be. Enjoy what I have so far, and look forward to some more.

Update: Here’s a great anti-Yankees picture that I forgot to add last night. Props to RCinPA and fdoyle11.
38975946

If there are two things that I love in this world, they’re plays on words and the Phillie Phanatic. Suck on that, Tommy Lasorda!

Advertisements

October 27, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

8 Comments »

  1. I don’t understand how the New York Post is even still around. It’s the definition of a rag.

    Comment by estebomb | October 28, 2009 | Reply

  2. […] Classy, New York Media: Part II – The Daily News While the New York Post, featured in Part I of this post, is almost universally thought of as a rag, I expect a little more from the Daily News, who have […]

    Pingback by Stay Classy, New York Media: Part II – The Daily News « Fire Eric Bruntlett | October 28, 2009 | Reply

  3. The NY Post is around because so many people in NY read that for their news every morning on the subway.

    Comment by exitfare | October 28, 2009 | Reply

    • Thank you for the driest, most straightforward comment in he history of the Internet.

      Comment by estebomb | October 28, 2009 | Reply

      • Wow, I just realized how straight forward that came out. I didn’t mean it to be that subtle.

        Comment by Dany | November 25, 2009

  4. Did u cry? So funny how sad all the philly fans are b/c of a stupid article which was obviously meant to spur confrontation.

    RE to ur RE:
    1. They are talking about NYC, not the yankees. maybe u need to read it again before bitching when u clearly didnt get the point.
    2. very hypocritical of you to say “So, that’s an advertising department and a research department both on crack?” in ur RE for 1 and then not bother to research a response for 2. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ben+franklin+father+of+yankees
    3. geographic reference to location. u didnt get it again.
    4. your two reason philly is better than ny actually includes a quote from homer simpson? and not running into morons is completely a false statement since apparently ur a moron and u live in philly.
    5. yeah i dont know what that dude was thinking. quote should not have been used.
    6. poor economy + ridiculously high priced tickets = lower attendance %. however, i find it quite interesting u decided to leave out the fact that even with a lower attendance % the yankee still out gained philly. for the third time u make a comment that clearly contradicts what was written. u asked if anyone quoted had a job in the same RE that the person quoted is said to be a building superintendent in Gramercy.

    Comment by Michael | October 30, 2009 | Reply

  5. I’ll say the same thing I did when I walked into my local bagel shop and saw the Victorino cover:

    “It’s a pretty big stretch to call another team’s hitters weak when your park’s dimensions are 247-267-289-255-232.”

    Comment by Mike | October 31, 2009 | Reply

    • what park r u talking about?

      Yankee Stadium:
      Left Field – 318 feet (97 m)
      Left-Center – 399 feet (122 m)
      Center Field – 408 feet (124 m)
      Right-Center – 385 feet (117 m)
      Right Field – 314 feet (96 m)
      Backstop – 52 feet (16 m)

      Citizens Bank
      Left field foul pole
      329 feet (100 m)[2]
      Left field power alley
      374 feet (114 m)[2]
      The “Angle” (left of CF to LCF)
      409 feet (125 m) – 381 feet (116 m) – 387 feet (118 m)[2]
      Center field, straightaway
      401 feet (122 m)[2]
      Right field power alley
      369 feet (112 m)[2]
      Right field foul pole
      330 feet (101 m)[2]

      Comment by Michael | November 2, 2009 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: