Fire Eric Bruntlett

There's only one Bruntober

How He Did It: Beardo’s Double and Score on Sunday, August 2nd

You may have noticed that Brunt had a rare hit and even scored the third run in Sunday’s 7-3 loss to the Giants to raise his average to an amazing .133! Viva La Beardo! You may also wonder how he pulled it off. I’m sure that’s a question that has crossed all of our minds. Well, it’s a simple 11-step process that I will explain here through a series of pictures. Just JUMP…Double_1

1. Step up to the plate with your putrid .122 batting average.

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2. Hold back on a pitch “right in your wheelhouse” – in the dirt.

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3. Wait on a pitch around the shoulders, one that you could really swing and miss on.

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4. Step out of the box for a minute to admire your current 2-0 count.

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5. Swing blindly at a pitch that happens to be right down the middle of the plate.

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6. Get really lucky, and drive it deep into the left field corner.

Let us Tweeters make it seem like a miracle had just happened. Because one did.

For example, I said: “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! BEARDO JUST DOUBLED INTO THE LEFT FIELD CORNER! GO PLAY THE LOTTERY, THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!!”

As of now, that’s probably my favorite Tweet ever.

In the shameless plug part of this post, follow all of us in our Bruntlett-hating as firebruntlett.

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7. Stand at second base in awe of the amazing feat that you have just accomplished.

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8. Allow the pitcher, former Cy Young winner, Barry Zito, to pace around the mound, in disbelief of what has just happened.

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9. Let the Ice Cream Man, Chooch, who is inexplicably hitting behind you, single who in on a ground ball to right.

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10. Attempt to score, but completely miss home plate. See the text and red lines in above picture.

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11. Score anyway, because the catcher dropped the ball. Roll around in the dirt, totally overreacting and over-dramatizing the entire scene.

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August 4, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

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